Wednesday, December 17, 2014

On Getting Fired for a 2nd time in 6 months

My life is just as out of focus as this picture
Getting fired for a second time in one year has really messed with my mind.  For five months my work was praised.  I was given more and more responsibilities- responsibilities and access an $11.50/hour temporary employee probably shouldn't have.

  The week before Thanksgiving, I was told by the HR manager I would never be made an actual employee and would be kept only until after the first of the year.  I tried to be strong and not let my disappointment and confusion show.  Eventually it did.  Just before I was leaving for the day, the plant manager saw me crying.  He asked why and I told him I would not be there after the holidays.  That's all I said.  No rants. Just sadness.  My disappointment was unacceptable to the HR manager and I was fired before noon the following day.

  I did my job.  I did much more than most temporary receptionists.  I audited nearly a thousand I-9s.  I audited all the plants training files, revamped the spreadsheets, and entered the training records into the employee file database.  I was in process of developing a comprehensive training course guide, a review for corporate of the employee database training system, a guide for the duties of the position, a guide for the weekly newsletter and planning holiday festivities for the plant.

   Once again, I am unemployed.  I am either overqualified or under-qualified for every job I seek.  My dreams of having a real job with a living wage and benefits are just that- a dream.  My reality is a nightmare.  I did everything people say to do.  I went to college.  I worked.  I took time off to raise my boys.  I started subbing to try to work my way into the schools.  I volunteered at organizations.  I applied to hundreds of positions in a wide range of fields.  Fast food restaurants and other minimum wage positions, numerous secretarial/administrative assistant jobs, education related jobs, police dispatcher, and more jobs than I can remember.  Most, including fast food type, never even call.  Some like the police dispatcher interviewed me but "I'm not the right fit" and "you'll easily find a job better suited for you".

After 8 years of looking, I am convinced I am unemployable.

To all those who think the unemployed are simply not looking hard my case you couldn't be further from the truth.  There are no jobs within driving distance.  If we lived close to a university or city, I could probably find work.  But, here in rural America, there are no jobs for me.

I want to work.  I want to contribute to society.  Every time I am feeling close to reaching my goal, I am pushed back down.  I am good at anything I do except playing politics at work.  I do not understand the games and I simply deal with people honestly and respectfully.

I will survive.  I always do.